Sincerely, Precious.

To:

The Light, A brother's Precious Sister.

When you suddenly realized, there is nothing in this world could excites you anymore.

When there is literally nothing, that you think could possibly makes you excited anymore.

When you feel like, the world has nothing that you want anymore.

What I used to always want.

What I have always wanted.

What I will always want.

What I desperately want right now, this second.

Is just Allah.

It has always been Allah.

It is Him, the One my soul has been missing.

The answer has always been 'Allah' from the start.

It will forever be Him.

How long would I be able to keep my consciousness of Allah this time?

How long would I be able to withstand the viscious attack of the evil within me this time?

How long will this very last spurt of strength I exorted be able to keep this mind on Allah?

How long will I be able to push such great evil force within me when I am this critically poisoned?

"Ya Allah, this very second, it doesn't matter anymore. Rich, employment, getting married, having kids, house or pavilion. Meeting the right person, gentlemen, being liked by people, expectation, having human companion, attention, text messages or phonecalls. Warm embraces, hugs, warm words, being understood, continuous conversation, food, excitement, critics, care and concern from others... It doesn't matter anymore. None matters anymore. I just need you.... I desperately just need you..."

A life without you.

Is like having eyes but unable to see.

Is like having mind but unable to think.

Is like having heart but unable to feel.

Is like having a beating heart but felt dead.

A life without you.

Is meaningless.

没有你的生活。

就像有眼睛却看不见。

就像有头脑但无法思考。

就像有心却无法感受。

就像有一颗跳动的心，但感觉死了。

没有你的生活。

是没有意义的。

 

From this moment onward,

I can learn on how to treat my own wounds.

I can learn on how to walk alone.

I can learn on how to stand when life dragged me down.

I can learn on how to wipe my own tears.

I can learn on how to hold my own hands.

I can learn on how to embrace myself warmly.

I can learn on how to fight agaisnt myself for You.

I can learn on how to let go of what I am clinging onto.

I can learn on how to live better.

I can learn on how to stop waiting.

I can learn on how to let go of the world. One by one.

Whatever else that I need to learn, I can and I am sincerely willing to.

I just need You to be here.

Just closer than You were to me 29 years ago.

Closer and closer

I don't need anyone not even myself, to say 'It's okay' anymore.

I don't need people to ask me, 'Are you happy?' anymore. 

I don't need a tea companion anymore.

I don't need  a companion to the grass field or to star-gazing.

I don't need attention, praises, texts or phone calls from anyone anymore.

I don't need others to show their concern, care or worry towards me.

I don't need that hugs or embraces whenever I am at the top or bottom.

I don't need to be loved or understood by anyone.

I just need You, Ya Allah.

 

I have been tightly gripping onto these roses stalks for nearly 30 years.

Today, I am more than what the word courage could possibly hold and covers, 

Loosening the grip was painful.

Letting go was never easy.

But today is the day I sincerely, 

Without any regrets or lingering feelings,

Loosening this grip,

Letting go.

Of all the roses stalks.

Sincerely, Precious.

 

 

 

 

The 7 Years

When night greets.

Her eyes search for the shadow of lantern on the wall.
Her mind seek for the scent of freshly brewed tea.
Her ear misses the bell sound of the wind chime at night.
Her heart cried out loud for every little things in Mount Bao Hu she couldnt protect.
The arrival of night triggers her remnant feelings of attachment.
Towards the already gone Peach Blossom Pavillion.
Will there be an ending to the lingering longing over that place?
Will there be an end to the every night where she struggles,

To cut of the illusion red thread of fate that is still - strangling her heart.

Then.
The sun set.
Darkness began to surround the White Mansion.
Fear built up, overtaking the strangled heart.
But the lady stood ready. 
For whatever that is coming.
When the night greet.

That day.
When the night greets.
That memory,
Begin to leak from her mind.
The mental and physical draining life in Jianghu,
The long years of confinement in the Land of Shadows
The seclusion days in Mount BaoHu.
The memory of all the battles she lost.  

Emerge, surrounding the White Mansion without her permission.

She run out of her room,
Passing few of the other occupants.
Brushing shoulders with Yuko
Skipping three to four steps of stairs down the staircase.
Running to main door.
With all of her might.
To get out of the White Mansion.
To stop the infiltration of her memory from tainting the White Mansion. 
To stop the building of revenge for her fallen Peach Blossom Pavillion  
She run along the long corridor, 
Heading to the main door.
With all her might 
But.

As fast as ligtning 
An arm grabbed her shoulder firmly from the side, pulling her over.
She was shocked by the sudden forceful stop, 
Catching her breath as she looked up to the person who was holding her.

                        "你跑得这么快..." 
                        "nǐ pǎo dé zhème kuài"
                        "You run so fast..." stated the man, gasping for air. 

It was Frann, 
He too.
Just run with all of his might.
Exactly as fast as he did
7 years ago.
When the night greets and engulfed his sister 

 

"Stay..." He added beginning to get a hold of his breath, holding his sister arm tightly as the other began to gather at the main hall of the entrance.

The uncontrolled memory began clouding around the White Mansion as she struggled to pull her arm away from Frann. She looked up to her tall brother desperately, 

"I cannot jeapordize the White mansion..."

Frann looked into his sister's eyes."No you won't...."

"What makes you so sure...?" 

"Because you are in the White Mansion" answered him without hesitation. "Because this time, I am here and..." 

There was a short pause before Frann continued calmly.

"7 years. It took us 7 long years to bring you back. 7 years, I battled ruthlessly against my own precious sister just to bring her back. I made her watched her mostly treasured peach blossom pavilion tore down right in front of eyes, without her able to do anything, just to bring her back home... It won't be that easy, for anyone, or anything, to bring you away from this White Mansion from now on.... "

That Smile

 

    The Owner of the White Mansion was sipping his favourite herbal tea, sliding the screen of his iPad on The Mayne Herald pages, not giving his attention to any breaking news headers written at all. He was then joined by a man in a cream-coloured sweater, followed by a lady with a long chiffon Hijjab. The three of them had their usual quiet and peaceful breakfast at the long dining table facing the Ava mountain. None of them seemed to bother by the fact that they were all already late for work. They waited and just waited in the silence.

    The sound of door closing from the third floor of the Mansion brought all the eyes to the stairs as they waited, nearly forgetting to breathe air.

    A familiar lady appeared, walking down the stairs towards them. She smiled and took a long while before saying, 

"ただいま"

    Soneclar breathed out a long, soft sigh of relief as his last memory with the lady 7 years ago flashed in his head upon hearing her voice. The burden of being the last person talking to her that year, that evening, yet unable to save her from leaving, has been haunting him all along. That morning, that smile, that voice, had all the burden he has been carrying for seven years lifted. He is one the most astounding man, presence and speech sought after throughout Mayne. Yet that morning, it took him the longest, to utter, "Welcome back"

Returning to the White Mansion would mean

Facing the memory of the past.

Mending the wound of those I have unknowingly hurt.

Embracing the heart that has never doubts my return.

Forgiving and accepting.

    The immense feelings of relief, longing and guilt embroidered in the "Welcome Back" uttered by Sonenclar put the lady in a long silence.

 

"Doctor..." called the lady softly

    Soneclar held his tears, missing that tone of voice, calling him. He then answered, 

"Yes..?"

"I plucked some roses from your garden this morning"

     Hearing the statement, he laughed weakly in disbelief. His eyes were quickly directed to the roses she was holding and the roses in the glass vase on the dining table. He could somehow guess where their conversation is heading to, but decided to play along, asking in return,

"Which garden?"

"The Peach Rose garden..."

Soneclar gave off a subtle disbelief look, bracing himself for the coming news of his fallen beloved Peach Rose garden.

"Some?..."

"Actually all..." said Hanne, flashing her bright mischievous smile they all missed.

 Yuko who has been glued to her seat, doubting her eyes, finally realized that she was not dreaming. She ran towards the lady, pulling her for a hug, whispering, "Rascal..." 

"Do you know how hard it was to grow those roses...?" asked Soneclar

That lady smiled as she stated confidently. "I will grow them back, this is my first promise..." 

That smile 

Is priceless and rare
That smile 
Is brighter than the sun that morning.
That smile
Surely worth beyond the plucked roses.

The Skills of the Future

The focus has shifted from 'Hard Skills' and 'Soft skills' to "Smart and Sharp".

• Smart skills replacing the Soft Skills,
• Sharp Skills replacing the Hard Skills.

10 Hard Skills

1. Statistical thinking and Data Analytics.
2. Optimization.
3. Science-based management.
4.  System Dynamics
5. Managerial Economics
6. Data visualization
7. Analytical Reasoning
8. Artificial Intelligence, Block chain, Cloud and Big Data (A,B,C and D)
9. Machine learning 
10. Digital Literacy.

Optimization

The process of making sure a design,system or a decision, as fully perfect, functional or effective as possiblle.

Science-based management.

The process of making decision through the conscientious (diligent), explicit (clear) and judicious (wise) use of current best evidence in making decisions about the a problem or a situation. 

Managerial economics

The application of the economic concepts, theories, tools, and methodologies to solve practical problems in a business.

Analytical Reasoning

The ability to look at information and discern (recognize) patterns within it.

Digital Literacy

The ability to use information and communication technologies to find, evaluate, create and communicate information, requiring both cognitive and technical skills.

Machine Learning

The study of computer algorithms that improve automatically through experience.

ABCD

Enabler for digital transformation

Data visualization

The visual representation of information

System Dynamics

The analysis of how actions and reactions cause and influence each other, and how and why the elements and processes in the system change.

Statistical Thinking & Data analytics

The ability to allign one's thoughts with the fundamental ideas of statistics allowing the person to make better decision in any given situation.

10 Smart Skills

1. Emotional maturity.
2. Humility
3. Developing multiple perspectives
4. Adaptability
5. Followership
6. Validation
7. Managing Up
8. Strategic and Critical Thinking
9. Listening
10. Cognitive readiness

Emotional Maturity

Ability to understand and manage your emotion

Adaptability

An ability or willingness to change in order to suit different conditions.

Validation

The ability to provide recognition or affirmation that a person (including yourself) or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.

Strategic and Critical Thinking

The process of conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing and evaluating informationto reach a goal and have a plan for its execution

Listening

The ability to focus completely on the person's speaking, understand their message, comprehand the information and respond thoughtfully.

Cognitive Readiness.

The mental preparation (including skills, knowledge, abilities, motivations and personal dispositions (character) that a person needs to establish and sustain competent performance in our complex & unpredictable environment.

Managing Up

Classic Definition:

Developing a good working relationship with a superior

Modern Definition

Managing up is solving problems that your stakeholders need solved.

Followership

The capacity or willingness to follow a leader

Developing multiple perspectives

To recognize the value and become fluent in understanding multiple perspectives within yourself and your organization.

Humility

To recognize your value and others value while looking up.It is to see there is far greater than ourselves who we can become, who others can become and how much more we can do and be.

Smart and humbled ones.

Smart and arrogant can be found everywhere.

A Little Later 2023

 

    In that same evening, a visitor paid a surprise visit to the White Mansion. The lady who just returned  flashed a soft smile upon spotting the familiar sillhoutte running in the drizzling rain towards her. The two settled down on the stoned bench by the lake, reminiscing the past they shared.

"Do you still remember the new year night 2016 at the Sharrforbet main House where we all gathered to write the new year resolution together?

"Of course I do. How could I forget that. I wrote up to 4 resolutions and fall asleep. All of you fill up my resolution papers for me..."

"Do you remember what was written?"

"Not really"

"Do you remember the rainbow-inked pen?"

"Oh yes I did. Who was it again?"

"It's Frann..."

"Oh yea... But, I don't remember what he wrote for me..."

"Do you want to see that again?"

"Did you bring it over...?"

"It has always been here..."

 

    

That lady smiled brightly as she passed the paper back to the visitor. She chuckled softly as the memory greeted her vividly.

"You woke up the next morning chasing us around the house, remember?"

 "I see this year, you manage to fill up the resolution paper by yourself... A month later after new year though... "

"This morning I see your resolution pasted up on the wall of the living hall..."

 That person took a few moment before he could finish his sentences.

"How I wanted to tell you, that I am so glad and very proud of you..." 

Silence filled the atmosphere. The cold soft wind brushes their cheeks lightly. The lady then replied softly,

"I want to be proud of her too...."

 "You should. She deserves it...."

"Happy New Year Precious"

"Happy New Year"

2023 Resolution

1. I love Allah sincerely, wholeheartedly beyond my love towards the other things.
2. Allah is my top priotrity.
3. I recover from my inner demon addiction, shadow attacks, evil whisperes.
4. I memorize the first juzuk of the Al-Quran.
5. I eat well, work well, study well, sleep well and communicate well with others.
6. I go to interview with ease and protection from Allah and I answer all the questions in Malay and Korean confidently and perfectly.
7. I work at a High Prestige school in Alor Setar. I teach Korean Language and is a Korean Language expert.
8. I have my own foreign languages modules that benefits a lot others.
9. I speak warm, positive and inspiring words.
10. I make RM 5000 per month and save RM 2000 per month
11. My YouTube Channel Naja ZR reach 100 000 subscribers.
12. I make money with my blog and writing.
13. I am young, bright, approachable and healthy.
14. I do things the right away, quick, precise and correctly.
15. I pick up foreign languages at a scary deity level speed.
16. I humble myself and do not seek for war.
17. I am kind but not too kind to the point that people could step on me or used me.
18. I am well-respected and loved by others.  I also respect and love others.
19. I do not waste my time and is always working or doing something that is beneficial.
20. I pick up skills easily and is open to learn new things.
21. I live music free. I do not listen to music. I minimize music in my life.
22. I build a new tea patio in the white mansion, read a lot and listen a lot.
23. I talk only when needed. I overtalk only with those worth my attention.
24. Every heart that comes across with my writing, fall in love with the soul it holds and inspire them for greater achievement in life. 
25. My YouTube, instagram, TikTok and my blog channel becomes a good marketing platform and Amir and Nabilah makes money from managing the business.
26. My family is healthy and strong, lovely and is living a blessings life.
27. I meet the love of my life, am engaged to him and is living my dream married life happily with him.
28. I live a life full of blessings from Allah. Rich and Healthy.
29. In this whole journey and the achievement I achieved - All leading me and those around me towards our destination - Jannah.

Welcome Back

The warmest greeting, spread across the coldest region of the island this evening.

The warmest greeting, embraced the lady who has finally returned to the White Mansion.

Instead of a simple 'Welcome Back Home', how about blurting the heart embracing phrase, 

'おかえりなさい '  'O-kaerinasai' 

Instead of just a smile, how about an embrace? That heart warming kind of embrace.

Instead of a moment of silence, what about some comforting words? 

"돌아와서 다행이야.."

"I am glad you are back..." 

The home she is returning to is the White Mansion.